I First you must tear a hole in the sky. Use whatever implements you have available. Further instructions will arrive in the mail. Please leave your mailing address in the hole.
II If at night you find a strange man smoking a cigarette on your front porch do not be alarmed. He has been sent ahead to scout the location. If he himself is burning please keep clear as this takes immense concentration.*
III Included in this kit is a rarefied divination rod (which also doubles as an antenna). Keep it safe as others will try to it take from you. Use of force is authorized.
IV Prepare yourself by bathing and rubbing essential oils into your skin. We prefer lavender and ylang ylang, but if these are not available do your best to replicate them. Remember, in the end, it is all about the seduction.
V Most of our candidates have some martial arts training. You will have to decide for yourself if this is a path that you are suited for. No special consideration is given one way or another.
VI On the eve of your departure be sure to drive your companion up into the hills. Where the both of you should strip naked and walk out into one of the fields there. The grass should be waist high and dewy. Do not hold hands. Lie down and watch the stars. Conversation is encouraged, but not necessary. If your companion brings up the subject of your departure you should immediately change the subject. Sexual intercourse is permitted, but not encouraged. You will need your strength. Be sure to watch the northern horizon; it is there that you will see the sign.
*please note we are not liable for any property damage. You have been warned. Any damage complaints will be carefully considered then rejected out of hand for lack of evidence.
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