As/Is







1.14.2007


from "addiction"

1.

This is how I like to do my junk, she said tangled up in innumerable faces with syringe in hand Have you ever tried it? She looked into my eyes as she placed it between her lips and leaned slightly towards me in a state of alien serenity. It was not a woman's grip spiked me. It wasn't even human.

to false poison I've made mythological tortures my resting-place and domain. Where now, mistress. I'm trying to see it clearly in the dark, Is suffering a privilege? flames and steady terror of sunken stars submissive winds sweeping the limit of the forest. the sensual creature chased from its cave rooms without meaning. His need was to exist and to move. robbed of self-possession with closed eyelids--a head that seemed to be touched with blue and streaked with quarrelling impulses gave to the mind a feeling of being composed of metals.

With the help of a torch, showed The chemicals I was putting in my body on a regular basis stopped working. a dark thing wanders in vinous intoxication i had taken up my binoculars while we talked. unsettled clouded judgment I didn't tell you I had been struck at the distance by certain faculties as the bodily eye is not accustomed to. For some minutes stood without speaking, looking out in all directions over the country. I am not disclosing any trade secrets too far gone even to communicate during dark-room seances.

in narrow chambers whose knots fasten me to all sorts of unutterable towering piles. I perceived vapours rolling between my body and the ceiling like a caterpillar. the adaptation of my innards to the vast processions consumed detonates all over in great light of being torn open. sleep I scarcely knew and clasped hands and heart-breaking. I felt that it wasn't going away this phenomena of mind and body.








2.

"Autumn is coming," she said, "Things will end badly, my friend," she said. the nights are buried upright in the rooms fold around with drops of agony on my sex half of hell, half of violence behind the roses in innumerable faces see myself capsize....the ringletted white head of clouded judgment sucks my soul through bramble bush sewers pursues me through dark leafy paths. my Heart to palpitate, & such a rope descended from the ceiling. am telling her of my childhood that which repels others, attracts in the meadow of intense light of shedding tears. This is how I like to do my junk, she said tangled. In hours of bitterness I dare not lift up my electrocution up my parisian shit ante. Which devil was it gave the death rattle of insane maracas dance of days. the lightning-like flashes of Weeping under a smoking heap of me dusty chaired a derangement, an utter abuse myself to stay free. such a dreadful abuse of self. collapsed in the dark armchair the more cruelly the better. all these strange tendencies With jugs of wine in the bloodied by the whiskey taken out of taken out of I was seduced sinking into a nondescript killing my self. robbed of self-possession whipped so hard that the blood flowed. derived from an aesthetics of my danger another self alien unguarded a feeling of being composed of infinitely violent raptures.The atmosphere is heavy with the odor of flowers and of your my body my body mine is my weapon and kissed the cold lips is yours is your weapon in me.








3.

The chemicals trade my body my processions the shit it gave the death composed in sweeping touch quarrelling rolling between I felt that palpitate, & danger a feeling of being whose knots fasten tears. This is how my dare creature chased from its innards great light sleep insane maracas seduced atmosphere heavy flowers stars to move. blue and streaked hands clouded judgment my meadow of junk, alien unguarded weapon in me.

human. mistress. looking out too far gone attracts intense light taken self. flames sunken the sensual cave rooms the adaptation of paths. another infinitely violent odor and faculties narrow chambers to lift killing yours and leaned and spiked me. some minutes stood in all my smoking in the bloodied out Things she sucks my hard poison binoculars clouded judgment not disclosing any bramble bush made mythological terror my country. the nights the rooms fold violence With innumerable faces taken up see heap of heart-breaking. sad. Weeping dusty whiskey serenity. woman metals.

With body buried upright in sewers parisian wine she said it? She looked into abuse the forest meaning exist and showed my body my body syringe impulses gave seances.

perceived vapours tangled. In hours of devil closed eyelids--a head being torn open. going childhood under cold self-possession composed help in telling electrocution ante. my weapon lips see clearly to communicating towering piles. clasped bitterness self-possession whipped self limit of need was robbed capsized....the blood aesthetics of raptures.

to submissive winds the thing wanders the drops of agony of Heart to rope nondescript hands towards distance had to. dark-room said collapsed the more suffering dark away and half sinking into junk, stopped working. not accustomed to behind dark ceiling. lightning-like flashes of tendencies Have you end derangement, dreadful in the dark of vinous intoxication sex rattle like eyes state of alien bodily eye of body.

Autumn is dance of days. better. all these strange placed tortures my feeling of being phenomena of disease.







4.

a polaroid of pain i've kept bedside for what seems a decade of painful. painful---wheelchair brother self rolled to suicide shallow pond rust stained black hands face down algae. painful. images grow larger there's a light on pasted to bourbon label. painful when should be doing something better. painful the pistol in the back of the caddy scalding hot painful. his son stuck a knife in his back painful. painful. panic insomnia planet ten plateau of painful when thought too hard and long in manic ballet of ears bleeding painful. painful the abuse thrown into gorgeous faces the invention of enemies in the painful. the apparition. painful. drank cancerous morphine syrup he died younger and stupid. sorry always for strong lungs. painful. painful more painful when the substance is fondled like a penis in the increasing dark. attention deficit disordered room painful painful. painful in public humiliation painful.


back of the caddy scalding morphine syrup died young stupid my friend she dropsa rope that the devil gave rattle. wine in the bloodied flowers and rust stained black hands face down algae. hard and long in manic ballet of substance disordered room painful painful. painful roses in innumerable faces my soul through which I like to abuse myself to stay free. such blood flowed. derived from a decade of wheelchair bourbon pistols. hot painful panic insomnia planet the invention. sorry always for fondled end badly, agony on my sex Heart to repel others, attracts the smoking nondescript painful. label. painful when should be painful. painful. ears bleeding painful. enemies in public humiliation painful.


Autumn is behind the bramble bush sewers pursue me shedding tears. dare not lift up my derangement, the more cruelly the better. get into an aesthetics of infinitely cold lips rolled to painful when thought too painful. attention deficit myself capsize....the ringletted white head of clouded junk, she said tangled. dusty chaired a dreadful abuse of self. self-possession whipped so hard danger another in me. a polaroid of pain i've something better. painful son stuck the apparition with his blade. painful. drank cancerous strong nights buried upright in the rooms descended from the ceiling. am telling her my parisian insane maracas dance strange tendencies taken out of atmosphere heavy with the odor pasted to ten plateaus abuse thrown into gorgeous faces like a bitterness the shit of me collapsed in the dark armchair. robbed self alien unguarded feeling your weapon kept bedside for the painful. lungs. painful. painful more painful through dark childhood of electrocution. the lightning-like flashes of all seduced sinking violent raptures.