how does it feel

how does it feel to be loved?
a note written
beneath underground railroads
no reciprocation
disbelief stained eyes
lets ponder transparent emotion
i planted a tree in your memory
configuring all the possibilities
swaying back and forth
cold wasted toxic smiles
seasons passed babe
blacked out those moments concealed
a dream
an era
a question unanswered
her leaves changed color
invisible tears fell like rain
micro burst
laying awake
i felt you there
nonexistent devotion
he threw her to the vultures
she meant nothing and everything
unexplained loyalty
her o in
needles convey intense passion
let me tell you a secret
headed down around over
its all so sudden
popping pills
her truth serum
hiding behind walls shaded green
dancing with death
i was wet behind the ears
you taught me fear
i looked up
all along the answers were written on the ceiling